How do you measure the goodness of God?
Is it only in perfect answers to our prayers? Is it only when we are so focused
on perfection that nothing less will do? Or is it in finding something worth
holding on to when the whole world seems to be falling in a deep abyss?
Shawn Michael Toombs was born with spinal
bifida. His mother, my friend, had the hopes and dreams of every new mother. A
perfect painless delivery, a cuddly newborn with all their fingers and toes,
and the ability to bring home her baby to a new and spotless nursery. She
experienced very little of that, especially in the order listed. She had a very
difficult delivery that ended in a C-section. Thankfully, her son had all his
fingers and toes but also a sac on his back that contained tissue and
cerebrospinal fluid and also nerves and part of the spinal cord. Before she had
time to comprehend that the baby, who had made her happy just by moving inside
her belly during the previous months, was not healthy, he had immediate surgery
and then was put in a body cast.....a series of casts that would be changed
frequently over the next 3 years. She came home from the hospital without her
sweet newborn. Her days were spent traveling from home to the hospital and
trying to comprehend all the instructions that nurses and doctors were plowing
her with. Extra minutes were spent on thinking of innovative ways to bath her
baby, keep his dressings dry and scratch his itches up under the cast. One
blessing found was that 92% of newborns born with a defect as severe as Shawns'
also have hydrocephalus. Shawn's brain was fine and healthy.
In all probability, God had already
instructed Shawn on his trials that he'd face on earth. He was a happy baby and
took his medical crisis's in stride. Maybe it was because that baby knew he was
loved and prayed for from the moment of his conception.
As he grew, new problems were discovered
and the hospital and doctor's office staffs became his new friends. He had
physical therapy, daily medications, catheterizations and a whole host of other
therapies every day. His grandpa made him a turtle on wheels. His little casted
body fit right into the turtle and he could use his hands to wheel around where
ever he needed to go. So, while other toddlers were learning to crawl, he was
wheeling his way everywhere! As he grew older, metal crutches were made for his
wrists. I cannot tell you how everyone from church cheered when Shawn walked
his little body into Sunday school. He had on a cute little suit... but no one
noticed his attire or the large silver crutches. It was his smile that caught
everyone's attention... it went from one ear to the other.
Shortly after that, it was learned that
his spine was severely curved, almost like a fish hook. All his intestines were
being crowded to one side. It wasn't physically causing pain, but not allowing
his internal organs to grow. They were to perform a surgery on his spine by
inserting steel rods on each side of his spine, hopefully correcting the
problem. He would be awake during this surgery so they could see if there was
any paralysis. He came out of the surgery suite with no feeling from the chest
down. Shawn would never use his metal crutches again. He was given a wheelchair
instead. The boy was a menace on wheels at times. But, still a blessing. It was
during this time his father chose to walk out of his life.
His grandfather concocted another riding
round-about for Shawn. A lawnmower type machine where he could get out in the
neighborhood and socialize. That worked well for years until he turned it over
one day. It was several days before they realized he had broken his leg because
he had no sensation from his chest down. The first of several broken bones. He
handled that with his famous smile and attitude and another cast.
Shawn made many friends throughout school
and rolled his wheelchair across the auditorium to receive his diploma. He got
around in a camaro with modified gears and remained optimistic about everything
except his father. His father would go years without even inquiring about his
son. Shawn told me once that he thought his father was ashamed of him. "NO
WAY," I told him. I tried to explain that his father probably just
couldn't handle the feeling that he thought he might be responsible for Shawn's
condition. It's hard trying to keep to yourself how sorry and low down you
think a man is while explaining to his son that he just has problems. All of us
finally quit being nice about his father. Everyone loved Shawn and he couldn't
figure out why his dad didn't. But, he was BLESSED with a wonderful stepfather
who couldn't love him more and met all his needs with complete dedication.
For years he has endured many, many surgeries,
catheters, needles, daily medications and hospitalizations, and now dialysis.
His frequent urinary infections and crowded organs have virtually destroyed his
kidneys. Because of his many physical problems, he is not a candidate for
transplant. The dialysis treatments are hard and draining on Shawn but he still
has that irresistible smile and that wonderful indomitable spirit. He is
intelligent, good and strong. (And cute!) That's how he got through the shock
of seeing his father walk through the doors of the dialysis clinic. Not to see
his son... but, for his own dialysis treatments. He didn't say one word to
Shawn - not one. The dialysis nurses try not to schedule their treatments where
they can run into each other, but at times it still happens. His father has
never spoken a word to his son on those rare times they are there together.
But, Shawn still smiles. He realizes it's his father's loss to have chosen not
to have a part in his life. I did mention how intelligent he is... right?
My friend's life has not been easy. She
has fought every fight to make sure that her son has had every advantage. Shawn
has outlived every doctor's estimation of his life's expectations. My friend
shared that she was afraid she'd lose it when the time finally came to let him
go. I could only tell her to enjoy him every single minute. God doesn't give us
our children... He shares them with us. They have always been His. It's our job
to love them, mold them and prove to God how worthy we are of His decision to
pick us as their parent. When Shawn leaves us, hopefully many, many years from
now, I know God will tell him, "Well, done, my good and faithful
servant." He'll give my friend a high five and tell her, "You done
well!" She has always known her true and sure blessing in Shawn!
No comments:
Post a Comment